i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
