I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
