well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
