I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
