I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
