xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
