had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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