I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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