My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
