Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
In America we eat man semen.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
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