i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
