YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize