yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
