is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
