she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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