If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
