My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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