Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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