I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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