butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
