that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So squirting runs in the family.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
