Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
