I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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