My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
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The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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