Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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