wake up i wanna do it froggy style
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
