I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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