i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
