May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
