eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
