i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
