margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you traded sex for a burrito?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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