TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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