I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
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Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
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Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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