Sponge bath it is.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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