my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
