No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
