dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize