i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
