that's an acceptable place to lick
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
