Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
