I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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