Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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