Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
home. puking in laundry basket.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
