He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
