The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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