2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
