Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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