I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
