I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
