I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
