I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
