I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Operation Purity has been aborted
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We are all done wearing pants today
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
