Where did you get a picture of my penis
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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