I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
