I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My bed smells like the plague
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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