apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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