4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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