No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
