it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
