I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
