I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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