so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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