im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
