Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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