So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
