so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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