Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
What changed your mind?
Being sober
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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