A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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