Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
