In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize