idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
