uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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