One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
