he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
