I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
