Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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